Additional information
by Todd Howey (Author)
The greatest piece of advice ever given to me is this simple statement. "You have got to be the same person up or down." It is a pretty basic statement, but it rings loud and clear in life. A true sign of maturity is when you can be the same type of person when things are going bad as you are when things are going good. It takes no courage whatsoever to be an encouraging and positive person when everything in your life is going well. It is when you are stuck in a losing skid that you can't seem to get stopped when people see your true colors. The way you treat others after losing a big business deal should be no different than how you would treat them after landing one. There is nothing worse than working for, or with, someone you know is going to show up to work upset and angry because things did not go their way. Even worse, imagine waiting for that person to get home not knowing what to expect. I once worked for a coach whose family would basically hide from him after he came home from coaching a game that his team had lost. It was like "ok, everyone hide from dad because he is not going to be in a good mood, we need to give him his space." That reeks of immaturity, but I have done it! There is an old saying in baseball that you should always leave the game between the lines. In other words, don't take it home with you. What happens at work, should stay at work, and just because things didn't go well for you that day does not give you the right to take it out on those that had nothing to do with it. When I was coaching, I did on occasion take a loss home with me. I would snap at my kids and walk around the house feeling sorry for myself. Well, that lasted about one time because my boy's mother was not about to put up with that nonsense and nor should you. I learned there was "no money" in that type of selfish behavior. I was only trying to drag others into my shallow despair in hopes they might join me in feeling sorry for myself. It takes work to learn that your self-worth is not tied to a job, performance, or any award. Self-worth is tied to how you treat others. No doubt there will be times in life when you are disappointed, bummed out, or even a bit depressed after a rough day, event, or a stretch of time. None of us are exempt from that. However, I am one to believe that you will not get the support and encouragement you are needing if you treat others the exact way you do not want to be treated. All you are doing is doubling your disappointment by passing it on to others. You might get pity, but where is the value in that? In life, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but even still people are much more important than wins and losses. Being a S.P.U.D. allows freedom for relationships to blossom. Plus, it is absolutely no fun to be around a person that is on an emotional roller coaster all of the time. If those around you know you will be there for them come rain or shine, you will become great in their eyes, a rock. You will be considered as someone who can be consistently leaned on, thus dividing their sorrow, and doubling their joy. You need examples of what a S.P.U.D. looks, sounds, and acts like; this book are of some of mine and how I remember them, along with referencing a few of the greatest leaders of all time. My S.P.U.D.'s include farmers, teachers, artists, coaches, bosses, custodians, family members, secretaries, and even my dog. The personal stories I share in this book are about imperfect people that demonstrated perfect unconditional love and support to me in my life. As I look back now, it was the right person at the right time, and I am forever grateful. Normal people just being who they are and caring enough about me to invest their life into mine. We all can be a S.P.U.D. to others, no special talent or training is required.
