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by Marc Alderdice (Author)
DON'T FORGET TO DANCE: A Unique Alzheimer's Journey - from Bizarre to Blissful is a memoir about Marc's wife Mary being diagnosed with early onset (or young onset) Alzheimer's disease. The book shows their journey related to this debilitating dementia where they suffered unpredictable and unimaginable traumas and heartaches. It also shows how, together, they overcame both anticipated and unforeseen complications and made it through bizarre times in unique ways-as well as being a unique love story showing how they made their way back to happiness and serenity.
Since several of her relatives had Alzheimer's, Mary knew she had a higher probability of getting the disease. From her observations, she felt that what was deep in one's heart is what would surface as there was less and less thought and control. She wanted whatever came from her-if Alzheimer's was to be her fate-"to be kind and loving and gentle and even a blessing to others if possible." Thus, she consciously prepared her heart, mind and spirit for the possibility for over eight years before any problems surfaced, to ensure kind words and actions would come from her. This preparation provided an unexplainable inner peace and love for others during later years.
After the diagnosis, Mary had a live-life-to-the-fullest approach, striving to ensure ongoing happiness, which allowed her and Marc to make the best of living with Alzheimer's. Her progression was normal for the first couple of years and life was good overall, with Mary trying new activities, including horse riding lessons, and doing things she always wanted to do. She didn't let her diagnosis run her life or ruin their life together.
Marc took care of her at home for the first two and a half years, and they were doing well and had a good life together. But then Mary experienced some bizarre illness. She knew something strange was going on and it was bad. She then rapidly started having a lot of illogical thoughts, behaviors and obsessions, along with many irrational fears, delusions and hallucinations.
Mary also started having psychiatric problems that she had never had before. She developed dissociative identity disorder, or multiple personalities. Marc discerned four distinct identities within her that surfaced, in addition to her "normal" self at the time, one of which was a sweet little girl who seemed to be about five-years old.
Problems escalated over a horrendous three-month period filled with a lot of distress and near disasters that turned the couple's lives upside down. Significant safety issues arose when Mary tried to jump out of a moving car on numerous occasions. Problems continued to escalate and both of them arrived at a breaking point. Something had to change!
Mary then moved to an assisted living facility memory care facility where she could receive the help she needed. Once Mary's psychiatric issues subsided, she's been happy over the subsequent years. The couple had great experiences together and they had a renewed "love affair."
Marc had his own problems and shares his many emotional and physical struggles honestly from a husband's perspective as primary caregiver along the way.
DON'T FORGET TO DANCE-at times heart-warming, heart-wrenching and humorous-is an encouraging memoir providing a positive approach of hope that reminds everyone you can make the best of a bad situation that will make life better for both the person with Alzheimer's and their loved ones.
