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by Mary T. Parsonage (Author)
On Tuesday August 16th 2016 at 1:05 am all the lights in my world went out. And for 8 months I sat in the dark alone, hurting and afraid like a wounded animal licking my wounds and praying for death. For this was the day my husband Derek died and with his death my world fell apart for we were joined inseparable and still so much in love after 32 years of marriage. I sunk into the nothingness and had no energy or desire to leave. I dreamed of dying, I begged to die but my body stubbornly refused to give in, my heart beat on, my blood flowed through my veins and I existed in world I had no interest in.Derek was 72 when he died he lived a full happy and purposeful life he cared only about his family and looking after them and his love for me was the one constant I could rely on in my ever-changing world. Derek worked most of his life as a miner and in 2010 was diagnosed with pneumoconiosis a bad disease of the lungs common to miners. Then in 2015 he was diagnosed with Dementia with Lewey Bodies, a very aggressive form of dementia and Parkinson's. I only had 18 months with him after this diagnosis and even if I had 18 years it would still not have been enough time. I loved and still love him with every fibre of my body and this is part of how I sank to the very deepest depths of despair and how I am slowly rising again.
