Additional information
by Andrew Wiseman (Author)
In a relationship, it's important to maintain open, honest communication with our partner. If we hope to have their trust and for them to have ours, we have to listen to what they say without growing defensive or rushing to judgment. This open line of communication is not about unloading our insecurities on our partner, but instead, allowing ourselves to be kind and connected, even when we feel insecure or jealous. This naturally helps our partner to do the same.
The extent to which we took on self-critical attitudes as children often shapes how much our critical inner voice will affect us in our adult lives, especially in our relationships. Yet, no matter what our unique experiences may be, we all possess this inner critic to some degree. Most of us can relate to carrying around a feeling that we won't be chosen. The degree to which we believe this fear affects how threatened we will feel in a relationship.
It's a basic reality that relationships go smoother when people don't get overly jealous. The more we can get a hold on our feelings of jealousy and make sense of them separate from our partner, the better off we will be. Remember, our jealousy often comes from insecurity in ourselves, a feeling like we are doomed to be deceived, hurt or rejected. Unless we deal with this feeling in ourselves, we are likely to fall victim to feelings of jealousy, distrust or insecurity in any relationship, no matter what the circumstances.
