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by Bonnie Zieman (Author)
Many studies have been published about the effects of shunning or ostracism on the person shunned but there are few books, if any, written specifically to offer help to the individual suffering from this sort of inhumane treatment. Granted there are books about how to cope with being bullied and/or marginalized in the workplace or at school. This book, however, directs its help to people who are subjected to mandated, open-ended shunning by religions, quasi-religions, cults and other extreme groups. Mandated shunning requires that members of a group reject, ignore, isolate and refuse to associate with, or even talk to the person "marked" by the group's leadership. Members of these groups or cults are expected to shun members of their own families if they dare to question dogma or refuse to participate in certain group activities or practices. Enforced ostracism removes all sense of belonging and community from the person ostracized. Mandated shunning weaponizes a person's need for belonging against them. It is an anti-social punishment that has been the cause of much suffering, including many attempted suicides and successful suicides. This book, of course, cannot remove the mandate for shunning against a person, but it will give the person many ways to cope with the psychological and emotional effects of being rejected and disowned. Readers will learn how to restore an inner sense of safety, security, and calm after losing family, friends and resources normally supplied by community. This book will also explain how simple strategies can down-regulate the fight/flight or freeze states of the autonomic nervous system when one loses all access to beloved family members. Due to the adversity and stress of mandated shunning, many who suffer under its merciless application suffer from anxiety, panic, anger, guilt, depression, and suicidal ideation. This book offers helpful techniques to cope with and minimize these debilitating effects of having family and friends arbitrarily torn away. Anyone being ostracized will experience social isolation for a while. This book offers many practical suggestions on how to reach out and build a new social network. There are many things that can be done while being subjected to prolonged shunning to cope with the loneliness and grief and to learn how to create a meaningful life. This survival guide is designed for former members of groups that shun such as The Church of Scientology, The Amish, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, FLDS, Hasidism, Islam, etc., etc. It matters not which group is excluding and shunning you - the strategies to deal with the isolation, grief, trauma, and despair are the same. If you find yourself alone and lonely suffering under this cruel practice of shunning, this book can act as a companion and survival guide. Many of us have survived shunning and are now thriving despite still being shunned. SHUNNED: A Survival Guide will help you survive and thrive too.
