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by Kimber Del Valle (Author), Mali & Friends (Cover Design by)
Few things in life drop us into a state of grief and trauma like feeling your body go into labor months before you expected or hearing the words "I'm sorry. I can't find a heartbeat." Whether during the delivery or too soon afterward, pregnancy and infant loss requires us to find our way through the wreckage where joy, anticipation, and "an already love" get replaced by numbness, confusion, and emotional pain so elemental words can't form.
It's a slow journey out of devastating loss, one that requires community. On the way to wholeness, there are many questions, Can I get pregnant again? Are we done getting pregnant? What if our next baby dies? What do I tell our living children so they won't get scared?
Pregnancy loss asks women to risk bonding again, navigate heightened anxieties and should she get pregnant, it asks her to make it through a medical system that isn't equipped to manage the understandable anxiety and trauma responses at check-ups or worse.
There's never a perfect way to grieve loss or overcome trauma. There's never a known outcome of your pregnancy loss until you find a way through without isolating or becoming depressed. When processed, grief and trauma dare us to keep living, feeling, and even, audaciously, find our way to thriving.
In this story, through the eyes of her clinical psychology training, Dr. Kimber shares her journey of weaving together grief, anxiety, and trauma into a meaningful whole. Perhaps in her story you will find pieces of your own. Perhaps you will even be able to dig into what's gone missing inside of you and discover what needs to be found.
