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by Tamela Lyons-Price (Author)
***The Good Girl Unlearning is not just for the high-functioning woman. It is for the woman who learned to let the Good Girl win.
She may be the woman who does everything for everyone and asks for nothing in return. She may constantly say yes when everything inside her is screaming no. She may apologize for having needs, feel guilty when she rests, struggle to receive, or believe putting herself first is selfish.
She may have spent years making herself smaller so everyone else could be comfortable.
And she may not consider herself high-functioning at all.
She may feel overwhelmed, exhausted, invisible, resentful, disconnected, or lost. She may struggle with boundaries, relationships, self-worth, or even knowing what she wants. She may have become so accustomed to looking outside of herself for approval that she no longer knows how to listen to herself.
***The Good Girl Unlearning is for her, too.
Because the Good Girl archetype does not always look like perfectionism.
Sometimes she looks like self-abandonment.
Sometimes she looks like people-pleasing, silence, over giving, caretaking, accepting crumbs, or staying where you are unhappy because leaving feels like hurting someone.
Sometimes she looks like needing everyone else to be okay before you allow yourself to be okay.
Sometimes she looks like never asking the question:
"What do I want?"
The Good Girl was never the problem.
She was a protector.
She learned what she needed to learn to navigate the world around her. She learned that being agreeable could keep the peace. That being useful could create belonging. That being quiet could prevent conflict. That being needed could make her feel valuable. That being "good" could help her avoid rejection, criticism, disappointment, or abandonment.
She did what she knew how to do.
She protected the woman underneath her.
But somewhere along the way, the protection became the prison.
The behaviors that once helped her feel safe began costing her pieces of herself-her voice, boundaries, desires, anger, sexuality, rest, creativity, confidence, and ability to receive.
Eventually, she may realize that she has become incredibly good at being everything everyone else needs while having no idea who she is when nobody needs anything from her.
That is where the unlearning begins.
The Good Girl Unlearning is not about becoming selfish, cold, uncaring, or rebellious. It is not about destroying the Good Girl.
It is about releasing her from a job she was never meant to work forever.
It is learning that kindness does not require self-abandonment. Compassion does not require self-sacrifice. Love does not require losing yourself. Boundaries are not rejection. Saying no does not make you mean. Resting does not make you lazy. Having needs does not make you needy. Receiving does not make you selfish.
And perhaps most importantly:
You do not have to earn your worth.
The Good Girl Unlearning - Let Her Rest invites women to turn inward and begin meeting the woman they abandoned in order to survive, belong, be loved, or be accepted.
She is not broken.
She is not weak.
There is a story underneath the behavior. There is a nervous system underneath the pattern. There is a woman underneath the protection.
And she deserves to be known.
This work invites you to stop asking, "How do I become a better version of the woman everyone needs me to be?"
And begin asking:
"Who am I when I no longer need to abandon myself to belong?"
