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by Mark Anderson Smith (Author)
What is a parent to do when a child adopts a trans identity and seeks to change their body to match their new identity? Decades ago parents worried over whether their daughter might get pregnant or their son father a child without being prepared for the responsibility that would bring. Parents worried about clothing, and makeup, and music that was being listened to. Worried about the risks of alcohol and smoking and drugs. Now, far too many parents are blindsided by gender diversity, by claims the child they loved and cared for and cherished was never their child at all. Instead they are presented with an imposter, a stranger, who appears to have taken their child over and demands things that do not make sense. Stop dead-naming me. Use these pronouns. I need to stop my puberty. I need hormones to become who I am supposed to be. I need to have these surgeries... these dangerous and experimental surgeries that will forever alter my body with no hope of ever going back.
Three years ago I was told my child identified as trans. This was devastating enough. I was already worried for my child, for the way she had retreated from the world. I knew too much even then. The fact that so many young adults detransition after submitting to medical procedures that could not be reversed. The dangers of taking puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones. I spiralled down. Catastrophized. Pleaded with those who affirmed my child's trans identity to stop, and none of them would listen. It almost drove me to end it all. I love my child. So many of us parents love our children and yet are falsely accused of hatred. This is often a form of gaslighting, the manipulation of a person by confusing them with false accusations and the presenting of lies as truth. If it was not for the love and mercy of God, perhaps I would have done something evil to myself. Instead, when everything in my life threatened to collapse, I found there was a foundation in Jesus Christ that stopped me from plunging into an abyss. Some people may claim gender identities are real, that we should celebrate and affirm trans identities. I cannot and will not accept this, not while my child is in danger and there is only poor evidence - if at all - to support those claims. Increasingly, there is evidence that affirmation prevents growth and maturation in our young people. At a time when our children will rebel against their parents, children need us to stand strong and firm for truth and reality. The Pied Piper stole the children of Hamelin. It feels like this has happened worldwide. Children turned against their parents, and politicians, social workers, journalists and so many in the media all standing against us. This book is an attempt to bring order out of chaos. I'm aware that my experience is being repeated to a greater or lesser degree in tens of thousands of households around the world. Some parents have been through a worse nightmare than I have yet had to face. Others are even now only beginning to understand their lives have been forever changed. As a father who is estranged from an adult child, I have been unable to communicate, even to listen or read what they have written. Instead I have read and researched and tried to struggle to overcome despair and depression, grief and sorrow, anger and confusion. The 31 chapters in They Cried Out To The Lord are my response to the nightmare I have found myself in. Seeking God for answers when I don't even know the questions to ask. Sharing what I've learned from discussions with trusted family and friends. Trying to find hope when there appears to be none. If you have a child or relative who is struggling with a trans identity, may this book be a blessing to you, leading you to know the hope and peace of God.
