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by Gloria Hamilten (Author)
After a brief introduction of the author and her daughter, this short course shows how two very different people can have a beautiful relationship permanently. Gloria: "It is incredible that, despite our best endeavours we are still so tied to past cultural and familial conditioning. Looking back now, knowing what I know now after decades of self-improvement, there are a lot of things I would do differently." Alpha: "I look back on my childhood and am incredibly thankful for the mother I had. The person my mother is now is even better, and it's been a journey of self- discovery for both of us, as I find my feet as an individual adult, and the relationship that Mum and I have further develops. I've seen Mum work at allowing me the space to grow, and giving me guidance and role-modelling being happy and living her life to the fullest. It's these learnings and growth opportunities that we now want to pass on to other mothers and daughters, because they are so incredibly uplifting".INTRODUCTIONAs individuals, people are complex so is it any wonder that the relationship between a mother and daughter is very complex and diverse? CHAPTER 1: CHANGE YOURSELFYou can never change another person, ever. If you've ever tried to change anything on yourself, you'll know how hard that is so, no wonder it is impossible to change someone else. In any case, no one has the right to try to change anyone else. CHAPTER 2: SHE MADE ME DO IT IT'S HER FAULT No one, but, no one can make you do anything without you allowing it. CHAPTER 3: COMMUNICATELack of communication is a common challenge with mothers and daughters. It's often because they are so close that they believe that each of them should know how the other one feels without having to be told. What happens as a result is they don't communicate. Or they get short with each other and then speak harshly to each other, in ways they'd never speak to everyone else, which causes hurt feelings that don't go away so easily.CHAPTER 4: DEAL WITH IT AS IT ARISESOne of the key principles in sustaining healthy and satisfying relationships is to deal with situations as they arise, not later, but as they arise.Brooding about them, giving each other the cold shoulder, making sarcastic, pointed remarks; none of that is constructive to settling a difference of opinion. CHAPTER 5: EMPATHISE: It's better to be kind than to be right.Simply put, to empathise means putting yourself in the other person's shoes. Empathy widens the lens of your vision. A daughter may have a Narcissistic mother or a mother can have a Narcissistic daughter. This is a form of illness, often referred to as a "closet illness." We look at Narcissism.CHAPTER 6: FORGIVEForgiveness is an individual act. It differs from reconciliation, which can affect many persons that is, groups. But here we are addressing the mother-daughter relationship. CHAPTER 7: AGREE TO DISAGREEThere are situations when we are better off 'letting it go' than disagreeing. We cannot agree with everything that anyone says and does. That is impossible. It would be unrealistic to think otherwise. The important thing is not to take anything personallyCHAPTER 8: LONELINESSHow a mother can feel lonely in a seemingly happy home.How a daughter can feel lonely in a happy home.CHAPTER 9: THE POWER OF LOVELove, what is love? We know that love is the most important emotion, the most important value of them all and, we often hear or read that love conquers all. We also look at respect.CONCLUSION Who controls your emotions?The role of Stress and how to reduce self-imposed stressWe look at Values, Beliefs and Attitudes.This book is to show you that every situation can be resolved, every relationship breakdown can be improved and fixed, and there are no insurmountable problems as long as we come from a loving place, from our positive ego.Throughout the book there are ACTION STEPS to individualise the content and strategies.
